Monday, August 22, 2011

Articles 20VN | Is Your Vampire Boyfriend Abusing You? | abuse ...

The controversy surrounding the Twilight series has been intense. The pro side focuses on the sexual side of the story (or lack thereof.) They declare that the "purity" of the relationship is refreshing and needed in young adult literature. They intensely defend the relationship and declare Edward the perfect boyfriend. They seem to miss many aspects of the relationship that can frankly turn your stomach.

The National Domestic Violence Hotline provides a checklist of 22 warning signs. If you are experiencing any of the warning signs listed on their web site you may be a victim of domestic violence. Intimate partner violence is rarely an isolated incident. Several indicators may point toward abuse. The warning signs fall under four categories: 1. Jealousy and possessiveness 2.Controlling behavior 3. Hypersensitivity and explosive behavior, 4. Threatening and/or using violence. The categories alone can be used to define Edward's behavior.

If you take a careful look at the list it is possible to identify at least a dozen of these warning signs in Bella and Edward's relationship. The most concerning of these signs are the constant threat that he could kill her and his unpredictable anger pushing to point that she fears for her safety. He disrespect of her family by hiding in her room and encouraging her to disregard her father's values. The isolation that Bella experiences is a classic symptom of abuse. Blaming her for how he feels and claiming no control over his behavior. If your daughter was in a relationship like this would you be concerned...even if her boyfriend isn't pursuing a sexual relationship?

Is it possible to provide our girls with examples of kind and caring partners with or without a sexual component? The answer is not simple, but marketing of a book like that would not be as sexy. The drama of the violence takes the place of the drama of a sexual relationship.

Whichever side you fall on, take the time to review these signs and with an open mind look again at the book. Sit down with your daughter and talk to her about the controversy. Let her know that it is never okay for someone to hurt her or threaten to hurt her.

If you suspect someone is being abused by an intimate partner support them. Encourage them to seek help. A counselor, the police, the crisis hotline, can all help. Whatever you do, don't do nothing.

Source: http://www.20vn.com/kids-teens/is-your-vampire-boyfriend-abusing-you-db4.htm

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